The Truth About Lying
Diogenes seeking an honest man (18th century painting by Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein) When asked why he went around with a lamp in...
Assessing Childhood
Grandma lived with us, and entering the back door in cold weather, you could smell the work of her hands. By that I mean, her pies. You...
On Regrets
Uncle Chuck and Aunt Janie had a difficult marriage. Aunt Janie became disabled a few years after their wedding. Due to brain damage,...
The Advice Trap
Nothing buoys my ego like giving wise and helpful advice. But in my line of work, that’s often a precarious move. For example, not long ago, I was talking with a woman and man, both in their early 30s, contemplating marriage. Meeting with me privately, the woman told me the man was everything she wanted in a partner: He was responsible, kind, smart, funny, and they were super compatible. “The person I’ve been hoping for all my life,” she said. “But I’m extremely stressed, b
The "Big Switcheroo": Functional Relationships with Adult Children
When 26-year-old Tiffany arrived home for a visit from her job in Philadelphia, I happened to be with her parents in the kitchen. During...
Relationship Repair Work
A flush-redness tints my face when I think about the stupid mistake I made a few weeks ago. After cutting some logs into firewood near my...
On Being Offended
There are few things more satisfying than taking offense. Those offended gain the thrill of self-righteousness! And the sweet reward that...
The Glass Eye
A 70-year-old man with a glass eye traveled across the globe with me. I had asked Doug to accompany me to Bangladesh because I needed to...
Honest Confusion
For quite some time, I have wanted to publicly admit my confusion. I’ve hesitated, because confusion is widely viewed as weakness. Being...
My Personal Odyssey: A Reflection and Invitation to New Graduates
I suppose I could blame the big adventure of my early adulthood on Oscar Rebman. Oscar lived next door to my family growing up. A talented, quiet, yet cantankerous mechanic, Oscar built his own lawn mower because he thought the commercial lawn mowers were inefficient and too expensive. When I asked Oscar if my old Dodge Dart with the flaking green paint could make it across the country, he said: “Get better tires. Change the oil.” Oscar was a man of few words. But I took hi