The Company You Keep

False praise and harsh condemnation

follow leaders everywhere,

part of it endemic to being in charge,

part of it the ancient human need

to create heroes and villains.

Parents and presidents,

entrepreneurs and executives,

partners and principals

are pulled in every direction,

the responsibilities relentless,

the roles unforgiving.

Leaders must find a way

to see past this noise,

beyond stronger willpower,

beyond added information.

The company leaders keep

can offer shelter from the drone

of sycophants and critics.

Consider yourself most fortunate

if you have even one person in your life

who will offer back to you,

without a hint of meanness,

what they see in you:

the fears that steer your ship,

the armor you mistake for skin,

the ways you trust

the fantasy of certainty

over the discomfort of not knowing.

Seeing precariousness

as simply a condition of life,

and at ease

with good days and bad,

here is a person who refuses

to collude with your self-pity,

mistake your comfort for your growth,

or vanish when you need them most.

Neither flattering nor condemning,

they can see into you

and through you,

past the insecurities

that so often govern your responses.

They are unafraid of your reactions

and immune to your defenses.

This is one

who brings presence,

not brilliance,

takes a seat beside you,

not above you,

finds you where you are,

honoring your unique mix of virtues

and accepting your limitations

not as flaws, but as distinctions,

no different from moles, scars, and dimples.

Being truly seen like this,

submitting to another's

account of you,

is rarely fully welcomed.

The door opens slowly.

The hand that holds it

is your own reluctant fist.

What comes next

is not a resolution

so much as a loosening.

The perspiration

from maintaining

your invented self

evaporates,

and you find yourself

less defended,

more present,

leading from ground

you didn't have to build alone.