Can family members who work together benefit from emotional separateness? Blanket reverence for family togetherness often shields family members from an unpleasant reality: too much closeness can destroy relationships. Nowhere is this more visible than in family businesses, where the cauldron of emotions among siblings and parents (and sometimes, uncles, aunts and grandparents) easily bubbles to an intensity level that exceeds the family’s capacity to manage it. Having

Every week, I hear some form of this question from business owners, young adults, and mid-lifers. It comes from those just getting started and from those who have “been there, done that.” (In one recent day, I heard this question from a 17-year-old student and a 92-year-old grandmother!) An important dimension of “Where Do I Go From Here With My Life?” is discovering the work that best “fits” me. How do I figure this out? There’s no sure-fire formula. The increasing co

“People would rather believe than know.” E.O. Wilson Professor Emeritus, Evolutionary Biology, Harvard University Two-time Pulitzer Prize recipient The quote above popped into my head when reflecting on my exchanges with Kate Hurley, director of the Koret Shelter Medicine Program at the University of California at Davis. We met last month at the Society of Animal Welfare Administrators Annual Management Conference in San Diego, where both us were invited to speak. Kate mi

I want to tell you about three similar telephone conversations I had this past month: A surgeon called from another state to ask if I could help his son: “Josh is a recent graduate. He’s a good kid, and very bright, but he just hasn’t been able to identify what he wants to do in life. I think he could benefit from talking to you.” Four partners, heavily invested in a business and active in running it, are struggling with belief differences. It’s a case of “three agains

My clients report that they sometimes make bad hiring decisions for key leadership positions. They tell me their selection processes don’t help them make accurate predictions about who is most likely to work out and who is most likely to fall short. This also frequently happens with potential merger partners. Hiring for a particular competence is easy; finding a leader or partner with maturity and poise who fits your culture presents a higher-magnitude challenge. There’s

After you read this blog, you might not be itching to take a walk in the woods. Every year, 350,000 Americans discover that a casual forest stroll produces weeks of oozing skin rashes triggered by a certain toxic shrub. But hold on – that poison ivy statistic is deceptive because it lacks context: no one knows how many Americans miss out on the exercise, reflection and perspective of woodland hikes because they fear infection from a pesky plant. Most nature-walkers don’

A client and his wife (I’ll call them Don and Clare) are going through a divorce. Their three college-age children are fairly independent, but the split-up of their parents likely will disrupt their lives. The table has been set for a fight: There’s an easy-to-detect bitterness between Don and Clare – I have heard it in their tone and language when addressing each other. Each has strong opinions about the other, and Don recently predicted, “The attorneys will be the winner

Ancient devices like sundials, water clocks, and hourglasses reveal a historically consistent quirk among humans: We want to know what time it is. Figuring out the optimal time to speak, act, or decide dictates the daily effectiveness of presidents, partners and parents. Their internal timepiece tells leaders when to hold on and when to let go, when to make a move and when to wait. It’s one thing to possess a skill; it’s another to know when to use it. This distinction

If you’re a leader who seeks to better understand your direct reports – or a parent wanting to connect with your children – learning how to ask a good question might be a worthy New Year’s resolution. Asking a question might sound simple, but crafting a question that has the power to jumpstart better thinking in someone else – that’s another matter. Like any exquisite talent, questioning can be under-utilized, over-relied-upon or recklessly abused. For example, through h

Standard procedures have been developed by modern medicine to diagnose a broken bone, a bladder infection or a blocked artery. In a similar way, technical problems in organizations – a malfunctioning machine, a compliance problem, or a design glitch – can often be remedied with prescribed processes. While routine challenges can often be addressed decisively creating only temporary disruption, that’s not the case with more complicated problems. No physician can certify w