John Engels

The seductive comfort of chosen blindness She found it in the shower on a Tuesday.   A small, hard thing that had no business being there. She stood very still for a moment, finished washing her hair, got dressed, and went to work.   Then she did something that millions of people do every day with information that frightens them: she decided not to know.   Weeks passed. The lump did not have the decency to disappear. But as long as no doctor had named it, it remained, in some private corner...

Some questions are simple and straightforward enough to warrant clear, direct answers:   Is the stove on? Did you submit the application? Is the fever above 103?   Did we hit the revenue target? Was the policy violated? Did my email get through?   These are not philosophical inquiries. They require information. Accuracy. Candor.   A child asking, "Are you coming to my game?" A patient asking, "Is it malignant?" A team member asking, "Am I still employed?"   Clarity is kindness here. Precision...

Think of the most challenging relationship in your life. Who is it?   Now ask yourself: What do I spend more energy on:  wishing this relationship were different, or managing myself better within it?   When people live and work closely over time, friction is inevitable. Different temperaments, stress loads, maturity levels, and seasons of life rub against each other. Heat gets generated. Energy gets lost.   “That’s not the way it’s supposed to be,” the trendy books tell us.   The Frictionless...