The final segment in a monthly series of 11 posts presenting my thinking and experience on the topic of coaching Last month, I discussed four distinctive triangle patterns that leaders regularly observe as coaches in organizations: solution requests, exclusion moves, anxious agreement and bickering colleagues. This month, I’ll suggest guiding strategies and skills for managing oneself in any relationship triangle. Then, I’ll apply those guidelines to the four patterns ment

The tenth in a monthly series of 11 posts presenting my thinking and experience on the topic of coaching. “When there is finally one who can control his emotional responsiveness and not take sides with either of the other two, the emotional intensity within the twosome will decrease and both will move to a higher level of differentiation (maturity).” Murray Bowen, M.D. Humans have developed a superb mechanism for managing anxiety: We dump on each other. Our dumping takes

The ninth in a monthly series of 11 posts presenting my thinking and experience on the topic of coaching. Most leaders I know talk too much. Even though they have a lot to say, only rarely do they speak about themselves in any depth. As a result, they miss many opportunities for connection and clarity. In last month’s blog (click here) I mentioned three forms of speaking for self that offer particularly high value for leaders. The first of these – distinguishing opinions